In the past 12 months have turned our lives upside down. The world was suddenly struck by a pandemic and our freedom was reduced. The life that we had before this scenario no longer exists. And we had to adapt quickly to this new reality as sadly and difficult it as it may be. The purpose of this article is not to focus about the pandemic, but to talk about Resilience - “the ability that each person has to deal with their own problems, to survive and overcome difficult moments, facing adverse situations and not allowing the pressure to take control over you, regardless of the situation”.
“The capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress.”
The concept of Resilience has its principles in Physics, but is widely used in Psychology and the business world to address human behavior. An individual's level of resilience indicates how well prepared he or she is to deal with life's adversities. The outcome is to transform not-so-good experiences into leanings and opportunities to change, to turn things around and move on.
You don't incorporate Resilience overnight. It is the result of lived experiences. Difficult situations, mistakes, disappointments and defeats, are everywhere. When we learn from these situations (however bad they are) and move on, we are being resilient. And our perspective on life changes. We become more confident, flexible and focused on solving problems and not on the cause.
One of the great attributes of resilient people is to be able to understand how to deal with their emotions. Resilient people are able to calmly face situations of great pressure and stress. This does not mean that they do not feel worry, insecurity, fear ... They are capable to identify their emotions, understand the reason for these feelings and do not allow themselves to be paralyzed. Their focus is on solving the problem. Therefore, they are able to organize their emotions and redirect their behavior. Resilience empowers them to accept and adapt to a situation and move forward.
Usually, when we achieve our maturity, we already know our limits because we have experienced different adversities. Everything is affected: emotionally, professionally, in our relationships and sometimes physically as well. This does not mean that aging brings us resilience!
It is very common to find people who prefer to live in the past, relegating opportunities that were positive avoiding the opportunity to face reality. It is difficult to look in the mirror and recognize yourself as the only one to be responsible for being here if it is not ideal to be here. Also, it is quite common is to find people who only regret, who adopts the victim´s side in the relationship and feel the most unfortunate person in the universe. Unfortunately, this type of behavior does not solve our lives/problems.
Similar to my observations, you may have seen reports of people who are at the end of their lives talking about how they regret not having lived to the fullest. The speech goes on something like this: “if I had had more time, I would had lived in the present, I would have valued what really matters, I would also not give too much attention to nonsense, I would smile more, I would not take things so seriously, I would take more care of my health, I would spend more time with the ones I love, I wouldn't make work as the number 1 priority, ahead of my family, I would make my dreams come true, ..."
Why do we only wake up to it and realized it when it is too late? Why we do not face life head on and live the best? Why don't we give problems the proper weight and learn from them and move on?
In the last 12 months, the whole world has gained intensive Resilience training. It hurts to be confined, it hurts not to be in person with those we love, it hurts to see people suddenly leaving us for good, it hurts to lose our jobs, it hurts to see the company we built with so much effort having to close the doors, it hurts to fight with people we love for lack of space or because we need to discount our pain in someone else, it hurts to see plans canceled, it hurts to get divorced, it hurts to see people starving and other needs because politicians have never been concerned with anything but their own interests and pockets, it hurts to have to face our fears, it hurts to see so many people freaking out, it hurts to know that you can die in a heart beat ...
It does hurt a lot, but problems, adversities and our pain are part of life. We need to turn them into our fuel to get out of this place. That is where Resilience comes in to place! The only certainty we have is death and, besides us, it is the only one thing that can paralyze us and prevent us from going further, from living our dreams! If we are here and now, there must be a purpose, then we must make it worthwhile. Let us stick to the positive vibe. Learn from our mistakes, grow with our problems, value who we are and who we love, vibrate with what we have already built, make the most of our time in the best possible way and always keep our eyes wide open on solving problems!
It may seem tacky, but to live is not to wait for the storm to pass, it is to learn how to dance in the rain.