One of the most common complaints among us women who are in the Perimenopause or are already in Menopause is the lack of libido. According to the gynecologist, obstetrician and hormone specialist, Dr. Mara Rubia Rios, “libido is the great drama of the gynecologist clinic .” Female libido is a woman's sexual desire. This desire varies in intensity during the phases of life and can have considerable peaks or falls, which can be explained for some reasons.
One of these reasons, and even the most cited, is related to the decrease in testosterone, estrogen and progesterone, since at this stage the ovaries stop producing them. However, a woman's sexuality is not just linked to our ovaries. It is possible to have an active sex life until old age. Low libido involves other factors, such as relationship problems, a strenuous daily routine, stress in the face of changes that start to happen in the body or material difficulties, such as lack of work and money. Also according to Dr. Mara Rubia, “the decrease in libido is 30% hormonal and 70% emotional”.
Our body changes a lot during menopause and this can be absorbed by us in a negative way. In addition to dealing with issues of aging, we often stop feeling desirable, building a distorted self-image about ourselves. This will certainly have consequences for the way we live our sexuality. So it is important to separate sexual appetite from libido. We often have a sexual appetite, but we have difficulty having sex due to some discomfort with our bodies.
Another factor that compromises libido a lot is the use of antidepressant medications. Many women in this stage of life use this type of medication. It is necessary to carefully evaluate the possible organic, psychological or arising causes of the use of some medication, which, as a side effect, can cause a lack of libido. For some of the cases mentioned above, there are specific treatments that can "adjust" the level of libido and reduce the lack of desire in bed. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is one of them. Just look for a specialist or consult a psychologist to work on certain personal issues.
In addition, the practice of physical exercises helps to increase the physical and mental disposition. Exercises are powerful allies of a healthy libido. All activities that help to maintain a healthier life favor sexuality, both by leaving the feeling of well-being (by releasing endorphins) and by improving circulation and body self-image.
When there is an improvement in circulation, blood flows better even through the tissues of your genitals, making them more sensitive to touch and therefore bringing more pleasure. Well-being hormones, such as endorphins, help women and men to relax, facilitating "entry" into the mood. In these aspects, aerobic activities are excellent allies.
Taking care of yourself favors self-esteem. We must allow ourselves to become more attractive, to focus our thoughts on sex and pleasure during the relationship and not to be ashamed of expressing our desires to the partner. In this phase, interaction and intimacy with the partner are crucial to make us feel safer. It will be necessary for him / her to understand this delicate moment of our lives and our manifestations, such as vaginal dryness, pain during sexual intercourse and decreased libido, and be more patient, as it will take us longer to satisfy ourselves.
The more the couple talks about the subject and the partner is willing to listen, understand, encourage the woman, the more they will become stronger. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships in 2012 showed that people who talk about sex have a better sex life.
Sexual desire and pleasure need not to decrease with age. As a matter of fact, many experts say that sex is actually an anti-aging strategy to keep everyone young and vibrant.
The more well resolved and mentally healthy we are, the better we will go through that moment and with a new perspective of ourselves. This can be quite fascinating if assessed with clarity and an open heart. There are horizons that can and must be expanded. Therefore, let us focus on embracing change and rediscovering positive aspects of our lives. We are going to use this transition time to start experimenting with new things and exploring different possibilities.